At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
