You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
