I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I forget how to act sober
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