you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
