ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
