so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My penis needs a shock collar
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize