do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
