Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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