They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize