We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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