i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
