She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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