we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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