Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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