She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
