i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
