i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
