I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
