If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
