You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pappa wants mamma naked
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
