I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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