Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
