Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize