you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
