mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
