Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
