I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize