you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
