I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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