I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
love makes seman taste better
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
