He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
