Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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