I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize