I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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