oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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