Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize