were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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