you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He passed out mid-signature
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
