I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
