I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I met the friendliest cop last night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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