I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize