i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I supernannyed him into submission
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
