Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
