High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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