im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
