Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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