I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As shirtless as possible
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
