2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
