Screwed.edu
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
