to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
