i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
