; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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