dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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