I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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