Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
